Year-End Guilt

This is it. The time of year where we pour over our lists and try to pick the best and brightest experiences to celebrate. It's a time of joy, yes. A time to celebrate? Of course. But also a time of frustration and even guilt.

Why guilt? Because of all the games released that I simply didn't get to. Sure, I may have some time to etch in a little bit of The Walking Dead or Dust, but not very much, and definitely not enough to mimic those initial experiences gamers had if they were lucky enough to jump on that rollings train as it made its way past deep in the foggy night. Luckily I was able to explore a good deal of FTL as the end-times clicked on -and probably discovered a few gems of my own as well- but that does little to clear the sullied sky when thinking about the fantastic games that I didn't spend even a fraction of time with.

David Liao used to say that he hated playing the games everyone loved later, because he felt that you missed something if you weren't experiencing it the same time as other people. You lost something if you weren't feeling that excitement in a group atmosphere, and feeling the connection of discovering a new world at the same time as those around you. Playing the games later is like going to the party after everyone has left, turning on the music and dancing by yourself while trying to eek out a bit of the magic all alone. Sure you can tell your friends about it later, but they're already full of cake and hungover from the experience. They'll listen, but they've been there already. Those 'Oh wow' moments of togetherness are lost forever.

I'll play The Walking Dead eventually. Even though I've watched people play it all the way through multiple times, I hear it's still an experience I should have for myself. So I'll be there at that party...dancing alone. But I suppose it's better than not dancing at all.