Halo 4 Release Dated

The official announcement has been made. The planets are in conjunction once again, and the sacrifice of the Lamb has been offered to the publishing God. There is no shard to find, there is no Dark Crystal to repair. It is all foretold.

Halo 4 will be released worldwide on November 6th 2012. Missing, by one day, all of the grand marketing possibilities that would come with releasing on Guy Fawkes day.

As Phil Spencer, Microsoft Studios corporate vice president, took off his long, flowing robes after doing the invocation -his chest still heaving with the power coursing through him- he turned to our reporter on site and said, in a voice which slid out of his mouth on a river of twenty other voices, all at a different pitch: "We are beginning a new saga with Halo 4 and embarking on a journey that will encompass the next decade of Halo games and experiences.

"Millions of fans worldwide have been eagerly awaiting the opportunity to step back into the boots of Master Chief, and with Halo 4 leading the charge, we're confident 2012 will be the most successful year in Xbox history."

He then collapsed into a heap and a thick beam of light, not unlike Master Control from TRON, burst forth from his chest and blew away the roof. There, in the night sky, the moon was as red as blood, and sheep could be heard in the distance howling at the site of their own slaughter.