Mass Effect 3 Console Vault Looks like a Giant Shepard Chest, Comes With DLC

Hey, are you ever sitting around thinking to yourself "Gee, my Xbox 360 just isn't big enough"? And is your next thought "You know what would be great? If I could slice off Commander Shepards chest with a rotary saw, and slap that testosterone battery of man-meat onto the side of my console" ? Well my friends you're in luck!

Calibur11 is releasing a plastic replica (awww) Commander Shepard chest vault that can make your steamy dreams of staring at his hardened pectoral-carnival while you play your games a reality. It also has lights which run on their own battery power, is said to increase the airflow to your system (how?) and might quite possibly lactate as well, so when you're thirsty you can picker up those quivering and nervous lips of yours, purse them upon Commander Shepards hard, yet gingerly inviting nipples, and play a resource gathering mini-game that everyone wins.

Honestly, I'm not really sure about that last part. We're currently asking Calibur11 for clarification.

The Commander Shepard Manly Chest-Vault of Love also comes with, what else, DLC for Mass Effect 3. You wouldn't want something to say Mass Effect 3 without it coming with some code that unlocks more of the game than someone who didn't but it would you? No word yet on how this in-game DLC will effect the love and relationship arcs in the game. I'm just saying, they better effect them a lot.