Won’t someone think of the clowns

They were there for you when you were no more than a foot high, covered in food and hard as anything to please.  For you they danced, they smiled, they pulled furry things out of hats and bags. Yet, we still fear them with an insatiable terror that comes from the very bowels of our perception.  Though they tried to be there for us they could not escape being turned into nothing more than pure, unadulterated nightmare fuel.

Clowns have be derided in all walks of life, but it is in video games that they surely have found no respite at all.  They are the maniacs, the killers, the abusers. Sure, maybe some of they asked for this. But we can’t all lump them into the “molested, killed and buried a child in the crawlspace” category.  Oh, how easy that would be!  But then we would forget that these are human beings, as flawed as any one of us! So what if they are representative of a sector of our adult society that enjoys dressing in crazy clothes and surrounding themselves with children.  My friend in my day we called those people Pop Stars!  Now we shoot them down in our virtual worlds. That is if we aren’t setting them on fire.

Take Adam the clown from Dead Rising for instance. Sure he seems to be a bloodthirsty lunatic who thrives on pain and laugh hysterically at his own death. But deep inside you find someone who has come to terms with his fate during a zombie apocalypse at that very moment when it is his time to go. A man who has seen his own demise reflected back at him thousands of times and is now ready to accept that warm embrace whenever it may come.  Oh how we could only wish to find this sort of acceptance. Instead we trudge along with our lives, trying to incessantly “survive” and then doing things like “screaming” when we feel that we may be in mortal danger. Adam the clown is nothing short of being exactly like Jesus.  This is irrefutable.

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The very fact that we do not accept clowns as compatriots in our games shows nothing more than the failings within ourselves.  Where is the game where I get to play the clown?  Where is the game that I get to dress up in silly costumes, outside of my regular life of course, and save the world from some unknown nefarious force that is, for once, not a clown? To save the world, and clowndom, and have people, especially children, of all types groveling at the feet of my big fancy shoes. Then they will surely know the power and the majesty of my clowny power as I unleash a fury upon them the likes of which they have never known!

…cough…

I mean…pull something furry out of a hat!