I’m sure you are all quite finished dabbing the tears from your eyes, have solved the mystery of the Origami Killer, and have sore thumbs from relentlessly pressing x to call for Jason by now.  Sony Entertainment has bamboozled you in its little web of lies and DECEIT into making you think that Heavy Rain is the most progressive thing to hit gaming since Rob the Robot.  But, my dear friends, there is a dark cloud hanging over these times.  For there is a little secret, one much more interesting than anything involving dead children.

There is another game, one from way back in 1991, that to this day is still more progressive than Heavy Rain could ever even dream to be.  That game is Out of this World and I’m going to prove it to you. Hit the jump to read my reasons why Out of this World is still more progressive than Heavy Rain 18 years later.


Male Protagonist with Red Hair

Look at that picture and stand in awe at the fiery mane of heavy red locks which our protagonist sports.  Those shivers going down your back are for a few reasons. First of all it is very rare for a game developer to have the foresight and the vision to create a main character with red molten locks of love like that…and then have him be a male.  Bloodrayne and Nariko are females so their breasts give them a free pass.  Well what about Dwarves!? I can hear you asking.  Well everyone knows that Dwarves are not really people, should never be acknowledged and should be burned in a great pyre in the middle of Central Park. This is common knowledge.

Just look at him. Look at the majesty of that burning filament. It’s almost like you are in a game where you are controlling Conan O’Brian himself. And as we all know, a game where you control Conan O’Brian would be the most beautiful game ever made. So this is the closest any of us is ever going to get.

A male protagonist with red hair is way more original than any of the cookie cutter characters that Heavy Rain has to offer, and boy is there sure a boatload of them.  A scraggly looking dad in search for his son? Turn on the Lifetime Channel. A fat swarthy detective? Just only every detective movie ever made. An FBI agent with a drug problem? Please. A Ukrainian Prostitute? I can’t go to the corner store without getting my dick stuck in one.

No. All that effort into making cookie cutter, and boring, characters and all they had to do was use a little #FF0000.

***


Not one ounce of dialogue is needed to tell a compelling story.

Unfortunately Quantric Dream has never heard of subtly.  A “less is more” idea in which stories and ideas, even complex ones, can be conveyed with the smallest amount of sensory input.  Out of this World, however, knows this idea very well and tells a compelling, action packed, story without one line of dialogue.  Perhaps our Red Haired Hero is a mute and that is why the only job he can keep is running tests on a Haldron Collider at night.  But that is besides the point. While Heavy Rain bombards us with line after line of poorly written and poorly acted dialogue, Out of this World leaves it up to the player to deduce the story through the visuals and nothing more.  I can honestly say that the first instance Ethan Marsh spoke I wished with all my being that he would never speak again.

We all know how that turned out.

***


We don’t need no stinkin’ Motion Capture

You may look at Heavy Rain and revel in how smooth everything is and how natural everyone moves.  Well I’m sorry to break your hearts my little Dolphin Nuggets but it’s all based on LIES.  Quantic Dream is actually outfitted with an entire Motion Capture studio and has been moonlighting as a Motion Capture services company for the past ten years. That’s right my friends. Quantic Dream has been quite the whore trolloping its services up and down Mass Media Ave. So that when you stick your disk in, and you feel the warm slime within, that’s the residue of a hundred other companies that have used her services right before you.

Out of this World, on the other hand is a pure virgin in white, laying in an open field in the sun, just waiting to give herself to you and to you only.  Each frame of animation in that game was lovingly hand crafted, each nuance just there waiting for your first touch…your first caress.

Out of this World is not only more progressive, it also doesn’t smell like 50 bikers and dried Pabst Blue Ribbon.

***


Press X to Jason < Press X to SHOOT FUCKING LASERS!

This is not so much where Out of this World is more progressive as much as it’s just blatantly better.  In Heavy Rain you get the once in a lifetime chance to play the father of a bratty kid, running through the mall looking for him after we walks away from you. And this is AFTER you spent some of your hard earned money buying him a goddamn balloon.  Ever go into the mall and see a haggard, worn-down, looking parent trying to control their screaming brat of a child?  Can you feel the misery wafting off of their face? Well in Heavy Rain you can BE that parent!! JOY! Yes. Only on the PS3 can you experiencing the soul crushing realities of parenthood and responsibility!

So put down that controller and pick up Out of this World to shoot some fucking LASERS! And these aren’t just any lasers mind you. I’m sure if David Cage had anything to do with it they would be lasers that shoot EMOTION RAYS at their targets to make them break down in the middle of the street in the rain. No, my friends these are lasers coming from brilliance. Not only do these lasers shoot…but they also shoot through walls, and not only do they shoot through walls…they actually MAKE walls as well!  Can you even get your putrid minds around that my little cock-monkeys from hell?  These lasers have 2 power-up abilities and a normal firing mode. One power up ability shoots through walls, doors and obstacles and the other power up ability creates a laser wall to use as a shield. My God just thinking about it I think I just shat myself…or at the very least have a minor erection.  Perhaps both.

***

2 Brilliant People  = 75+ normal people

This is the list of people responsible for bringing you Heavy Rain.

Written by David Cage
Directed by David Cage
Main Cast Pascal Langdale (Ethan Mars),

Jacqui Ainsley (Madison Paige),

Judi Beecher (Madison Page),

Sam Douglas (Scott Shelby),

Leon Ockenden (Norman Jayden),

Mike Powers (Carter Blake),

Aurélie Bancilhon (Lauren Winter),

Max Renaudin (Shaun Mars),

Quentin de Gruttola (Shaun Mars),

Ginnie Watson (Grace Mars),

Leslie Clack (Charles Kramer),

Anthony Hickling (Gordi Kramer)

roducerCharles Coutier
Associate ProducerAlexandre Plissonneau
Assistant ProducerRomain Castillos
Outsourcing CoordinatorEmilie Ragot
Talent CoordinatorFrédérique Barkoff
Lead Game BuilderSophie Buhl
Game Building TeamBruno Bouvret, Julien Colas, Nathalie Delga,Benjamin Douchy, Bertrand Huet, Alexis Moroz,Axel Riviere, Simon Wasselin
Lead Game PlayCaroline Marchal
Game Play TeamRaoul Barbet, Gabriel Esteves
Assistant DirectorSteve Kniebihly
Camera TeamMaxime Brochen, Steven Brochen, Damien Charbon
Lead Game LogicJean-Charles Perrier
Game Logic TeamErwan Bancal, Grégoire Diaconu, Bertrand Faure,Nicolas Holleville, Jérôme Jany
Lead EngineRonan Marchalot
Engine TeamFranck Bourguet, Philippe Desgranges,François Fruneau, Vincent Graveleau,David Haguenauer, Vincent Hamm, Eric Lescop
Lead ToolsDamien Castelltort
Tools TeamCédric Audru, Raphael Lahure, Aurélien Loizeau,Arnaud Mathieu, Vincent Piedeloup,Vladimir Votiakov
Chief Set DesignerThierry Flamand
Concept ArtistsFrançois Baranger, Benoit Godde
Costume DesignerEmilie Ragot
Architectural Documentation & BlueprintsCécilia Blom, Virginie Hernvann, Emilie Jouvet,Chantal Reunif
Additional Concept ArtistMorgan Yon
Lead SetsChristophe Brusseaux
Senior Set ArtistPhilippe Aballea
Set ArtistsSebastien Andre, Jonathan Benainous,Laurent Bertoux, Gil Cornut, Norbert Crétinon,Frederic Grillot, Alexandre Mangon-Olivier
FX ArtistSylvain Muzé
Interface ArtistSébastien Ricolfi
Lead CharactersThierry Prodhomme
Character ArtistsKatarina Djordjevic, Ronan Rouxel
Additional Character ArtistsSaid Bouaoun, Christophe Bouchet,Ángel Gabriel Díaz Romero, Stephane Dufournier,Daniel Moreno, Lionel Cregut, Loic Zimmermann
Havok ArtistWilliam Le Henanff
Facial Rigger & AnimatorYann Gaborieau
Facial Animation TeamCatherine Esteves, Tiphaine Mourmant,Hélène Pierre, Marjorie Vaysettes
Rigging TeamJulien Depoortere, David Hooghe, Bruce Taj,Cedric Nicolas
Lead AnimatorClement Castanier
Animation TeamRobin Armstrong, Julien Beilles, Fabrice Bon,Julien Caillaud, Julien Condom, Helene Galtier,Adeline Garcia, Alexandre Roche, Vanessa Ruffra,Rafael Nogues, Sylvain Rohart, Jonathan Zahut,Julien Soret
Lead Motion CaptureJeremy Meunier
Senior Mocap ArtistHiroko Masuda
Mocap AssistantLuisa Michelotti
Set AssistantsRaoul Barbet, Antoine Cerqueus
Motion Capture TrackersMarie Delsol, Suzie Polgatti
Sound Design ManagerXavier Despas
Sound FX TeamChristian Babelian, Mathieu Muller,Mathieu Fiorentini
Sound FX Team ConsultantNicolas Bredin
Recording EngineerJean-Jacques Toroella
Lead QAJérôme Vu Than
QA TeamCyril Ben Abdallah, Vincent Eustache,Jeanne Lim Koun, Clemence Maurer,Marc Soune Seyne, Marc Soune-Seyne,Michaël Troger, Julien Vuong, Mathieu Goulin
IT ManagerGauthier Mabille
Network & System AdministratorFrédéric Joassin
Ass. Human ResourcesIsabelle Poinsot
AccountingSandrine Grosselin, Nathalie Pariset
Original Soundtrack Composer and ConductorNormand Corbeil
Soundtrack recorded atAbbey Road Studios London
Soundtrack recorded byJonathan Allen
AssistantsLewis Jones, Paul Pritchard
Abbey Road Studio ManagerColette Barber
Orchestra ContractorIsobel Griffiths
Assistant Orchestra ContractorCharlotte Matthews
Orchestra LeaderThomas Bowes
tunts Coordinator and StuntmanOlivier Schneider
Stunts CrewMichael Troude, Virginie Arnaud, Grégory Loffredo,Patrick Vo, Vincent Haquin, Ben Badra,Sébastien Vandenberghe, Vincent Bersoullé
Dev Team Mocap ActorsDamien Charbon, Steve Kniebihly, Axel Riviere,Vanessa Ruffra
Casting DirectorPaul de Freitas
Additional CastingNina Gold
Talent ConsultationBlindlight
Legal ConsultationKenneth S. Yudell
Philadelphia SoundDonald F. McKenna Jr.
TranslationLiam Gavin
AdaptationPhilip Campbell
Additional StaffBrice Tinguad, Francisco A. Cortina,Steven Stahlberg, Cesar Sampedro,Stephane Bertout, Quentin Guillemineau
3D Graphics Development ServicesPearl Digital Entertainment
Motion Capture Post-production ServicesAnimation Vertigo
In‑game Imagees© 2009 Jupiterimages
In-game cartoons courtesy ofLes Gobelins - L'École de l'image
PyratsYves Bigerel, Bruno Dequier, Bea Fiquet,Nicolas Gueroux
VoodooRomain Baudy, Ludovic Bouancheau,Liane Cho Han, Yann Le Gall, Marietta Ren,Sebastien Wojda
Cocotte MinuteThibault Berard, Sylvain Marc, Loic Mermont,Amandine Pecharman, Nathalie Robert,Romain Vacher
Developed thanks to the support of theCentre National de la Cinématographie [CNC]
DedicationQuentin, Ulysse


And this is the list of people who brought you Out of this World.

Developed and Designed by - Eric Chahi
Music by - Jean-Francois Freitas


Nothing more needs to be said here.

***


I would say that I HOPE I convinced you but I know in my heart of hearts that one cannot reasonably deny the evidence I have brought to the table here.  I now send you all out into the world as more informed people, better people, prettier people.  You have drunk from my font...now you may go and help others.

-Joseph-

Comments

  • Avatar
    DestroytheTyrant
    13 years, 11 months ago

    This reminds me of Jim Sterlings articles lol

  • Avatar
    rabbeseking
    13 years, 11 months ago

    Wha....who....I...I think I need a moment...

    HHNNNNGGGGG

    Okay, I'm good.

    I feel as if the true meaning of the text I have read right now will only strike me much later in life.

  • Avatar
    Sonicridersx11
    13 years, 11 months ago

    Is this on the PSN? I might check it out.

  • Avatar
    Tim000
    13 years, 11 months ago

    Brilliant.

  • Avatar
    Sgtpierceface
    13 years, 11 months ago

    The question isn't if "Out of this World" is better than "Heavy Rain", it is who is more f****d up, Joseph or Travis?

  • Avatar
    BWoods
    13 years, 11 months ago

    I remember playing the shareware version of Out of this World way back in the day. I think I ran it on a Pentium 386 processor on windows 3.1 or maybe out of DOS, I don't remember exactly. Regardless, it was a fucking cool game and I wish it wouldn't have crashed all the time before I could reach the end of the shareware.

    Ahh, those were the days.

  • Avatar
    Damien
    13 years, 11 months ago

    ...What the fuck? I'm confused.

  • Avatar
    Skyliner
    13 years, 11 months ago

    "You have drunk from my font…" Years later when Joseph is a famous rock star and/or game journalist, someone needs to remember this when they write the Newer and Awesomer Testaments of Joseph Christ. It must be included.

  • Avatar
    Thoraxe
    13 years, 11 months ago

    Joseph, have I mentioned that I love you? Out of This World is still one of my favorite games of all time.

  • Avatar
    Undead Echo
    13 years, 11 months ago

    I disagree with you Joseph, Heavy Rain told a brilliant story through complex decision making that the player had to act out on reflex, leading to a much more deeper story with a huge amount of possibilities. The characters weren't generic, they felt like they were real human beings, and the player could connect with them. I am in no way bashing "Out of this World" but is it really necessary to put two games with completely different genres together and say, this one is better! It's childish, actually. The reason Heavy Rain was so successful is because the developers took the challenge to make a great game with a genre that is overlooked by many gamers. Basically, it did shit right.

  • Avatar
    Peacehavoc
    13 years, 11 months ago

    Joseph, my hero. :] I agree.

  • Avatar
    abagofun
    13 years, 11 months ago

    undead echo heavy rain didn't have that brilliant of a story, maybe to someone who doesn't watch that many movies, because its obvious where the plot goes as well as the typical characters they play in the game and in movies. there was no way i could connect with any of those people because to me they were fucking unrealistic ( even the son hit by the car, kid was what 10 and decided to go across the street to look for his dad after he said stay there on the second floor of a mall), The reason heavy rain is successful is because its so different. If you want a game with an emotional impact go play ico or shadow of the colossus because both those games had a much bigger emotional impact on the player than the shitty voice actors in heavy rain all while using hardly any dialogue.

  • Avatar
    rabbeseking
    13 years, 11 months ago

    And it soars over Undead Echo's head..

  • Avatar
    Undead Echo
    13 years, 11 months ago

    I'm just stating my opinion, by no means am I saying it is the greatest game ever. It is far from that. I have played Ico and Shadow of the Colossus which are great games and did have a huge emotional impact. To me, Heavy Rain was interesting and fun to play, and the voice acting was by no means shitty.

  • Avatar
    Ratfoot
    13 years, 11 months ago

    Thanks for the advertisement Tyler Barber.

  • Avatar
    Bubsy
    13 years, 11 months ago

    Sure, out of this world is more technical progressive, but that does not hinder the pure fun in Heavy Rain. I love Heavy Rain, even if it is a chicle' game at times.

  • Avatar
    Undead Echo
    13 years, 11 months ago

    Thank you Bubsy.

  • Avatar
    Widget
    13 years, 9 months ago

    Em...ok, what? Seriously? You're comparing Heavy Rain to Out of this World. Hmmm. That's sorta like deciding which of the following movies is a better romance: Titanic or Die Hard.
    They're two different games!
    Honestly, "cookie cutter characters"? They're look is based on their voice actors. They're all NORMAL looking people in a NORMAL world. That's the games setting. Maybe you should ask David Cage for a personal apology for not putting lasers in a game set in present(ish) day America.
    Look dude, you love your old school games. I do too. In fact, I'm also pissed I haven't come across a game that has some amazing engaging story like they used to in the old days. Truth is, developers are too busy making new innovations like motion sensor and what not that story quality has declined a bit in the last ten years. Don't worry. There will be a renaissance in story telling some day. Just don't pick on decent enough games for no good reason. Makes me angry.

  • Avatar
    Brian
    12 years, 11 months ago

    Yawn. This is too boring to bother reading. 1991? Stop living in the past.

  • Avatar
    tarbis
    12 years, 11 months ago

    Please give back the precious minutes of my life reading this trash &gt;_&lt;

  • Avatar
    Green Rings
    12 years, 11 months ago

    Well I guess that means that "Out Of This World" is better than Galo and Gears Of Bore as well then because evryone knows that PS3 exclusives offer over 10 billion times the quality of 360's last - gen trash. Why do you think Heavy Rain scooped 3 BAFTAS this year while all the bad - graphics nonsense on the 360 got laughed out of the building?