Final Fantasy X-2.5, or Square Enix is Ruining Basically Everything

Published by Zack Wheat on Jan. 3, 2014
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Take a deep breath.

Square Enix has released Final Fantasy X-2.5, a novel fitting ambiguously into the timeline of Final Fantasy X and X-2, to coincide with the release of the HD remaster. Worrying is the presence of a cliffhanger ending, indicating the possibility of a Final Fantasy X-3; maddening is the novel’s content.

Spoilers follow.

According to various reports compiled by a few sources, the novel’s plot follows protagonists Tidus and Yuna two days after Tidus’ resurrection. Tidus is a little out of it for obvious reasons, but this apparently angers Yuna and they have fallen out of love. The two are shipwrecked on an island, and following an argument, Tidus goes to kick a blitzball found on the beach in anger. This blitzball turns out to be a bomb, and Tidus blows up.

Yeah.

Reports are a little messy from here on out, but the rundown seems to be that Yuna revives him, as Tidus is now made up of pyreflies and she has control over them. Reviving an unsent causes issues with the Farplane, and so basically everyone comes back to life, Sin included.

I don’t know, man.

Specific details will be firmed up over time, but the book’s Amazon page is currently flooded with angry one-star reviews as outraged fans voice their displeasure with the product. Setting aside the pointless, manufactured drama brought about by mutilating a core character relationship and the assault on series lore and canon (let’s not even get started on how little sense a revived Sin makes), other issues revolve around the book’s uncomfortably morbid, gruesome, and sexual content.

Some reports are coming in that Tidus’ death is accompanied by details of his dismembered head flying at Yuna, for example, and out-of-place sexual innuendos abound. Murmurs of the latter range from Tidus commenting that he won’t be able to focus on battle due to Yuna’s “sexiness,” to rumors of a necrophilic scene in which Yuna has sex with Tidus (who, at this point, should be dead) in order to revive the Fayth.

The nitty-gritty details can only be pieced together through corroboration at this point for those of us unable to read the book, but enough can be seen at this point that what has happened here is… not too good. Worse still, the book is actually written by Kazushige Nojima, who penned Final Fantasy X itself. It is startling and perplexing, then, that this is where he would choose to take the universe and characters.

I have canceled my pre-order for the X/X-2 HD release at this point. We vote with our wallets, and it’s not hard to imagine that sales will dictate whether or not X-3 is viable.

If you’ll excuse me, I think I have a headache.

Comments

  • Avatar
    Necbromancer
    6 years, 10 months ago

    If there was ever a better example of corporate personhood, I haven't seen it. Clearly Squeenix has become old, senile, and demented.

  • CyborgMaid Avatar
    CyborgMaid
    6 years, 10 months ago

    The funny thing is that the people who complain about the book are probably the same people who write slash fiction about Tidus getting a taste of Cloud's buster sword. Uncomfortably morbid content sounds wonderful. Let Yuna have sex with Tidus corpse all she want. No one actually liked him anyways right? Nothing of any significant value was lost imo. I rather see this then just another FF game. Go nuts. But in the end, yeah it will probably suck no matter what..

  • Martin Avatar
    Martin
    6 years, 10 months ago

    Sorry... what???? The fuck is square enix thinking?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

  • Frank Hartnett Avatar
    Frank Hartnett
    6 years, 10 months ago

    Well, Tidus IS stupid enough to mistake a bomb for a blitzball.

  • theottomatic91 Avatar
    theottomatic91
    6 years, 10 months ago

    Is it so hard for people not to buy games they don't like? For me there was final fantasy 10 and that's it then I moved on to the next numbered title.

  • PrideSwine Avatar
    PrideSwine
    6 years, 10 months ago

    Necrophilia, you say? Hmm...

  • Avatar
    SuperCeller2
    6 years, 10 months ago

    I can not compute this.
    My brain has been broken.
    May God have mercy on our souls for Square Enix will have none.

  • Houkito Avatar
    Houkito
    6 years, 10 months ago

    I really wanted this to be a joke or just an attempt at trolling but it looks like it's real. I'm just at a loss for words at this point. What the fuck.

  • Nadia (Reborn) Avatar
    Nadia (Reborn)
    6 years, 10 months ago

    WAIT BUT WHAT ABOUT FFX-2 LAST MISSION WHERE IT WAS LIKE A COUPLE OF MONTHS AFTER THE ENDING OF X-2 AND YUNA WAS LIKE "YAH TIDUS AND I ARE TIGHT, YO."

    This isn't real. This is too stupid to be real.

  • DrGonzo2 Avatar
    DrGonzo2
    6 years, 10 months ago

    As if the plot to FFX wasn't stupid and horrible enough...though I'm still wanting to buy the HD remakes since I've been wanting to try the games out.

  • Avatar
    UltimaLegend14
    6 years, 10 months ago

    -laughs the tidus laugh-

  • Zladko Avatar
    Zladko
    6 years, 10 months ago

    HA
    HA
    HA
    HA
    HA
    HA

  • J52 Avatar
    J52
    6 years, 10 months ago

    Then Yuna meets her TRUE love: Sonic the Hedgehog.

  • Avatar
    Joseph
    6 years, 10 months ago

    http://www.p4rgaming.com/square-enix-accidentally-publishes-fanfiction-for-the-final-fantasy-x-2-5-novel/
    It was a fan version made up that was accidentally put up for print. It explains on this page if you consider reading it that is.

  • Avatar
    Shiro
    6 years, 10 months ago

    This looks a type of trolling or what the hell, but I don't understand the why have to cancel your pre-order for FF X/X-2 HD, I mean we're talking about that book X-2.5 of which I would burn it, but X and X-2 are not bad, both are a game from some 10 years ago, and worth play them, they became in my favorite Final Fantasy and thanks to them I met the FF world saga, but.. as I said is game from some 10 years, but was famous and that's why they are making a HD ver, but now I don't know who the hell from Square Enix but are destroying the story and maybe just because we have our atention in X/X-2 hd remaster they wanna make a X-3 but taking down everything what happened in the previous games ;A; I think you should play X/X-2 but ignore everything else about this book and X-3

  • Chrissaviour Avatar
    Chrissaviour
    6 years, 10 months ago

    lol this is great.

  • Shazza1990 Avatar
    Shazza1990
    6 years, 10 months ago

    ... What? What the hell Square Enix?

  • OlMuttonchops Avatar
    OlMuttonchops
    6 years, 10 months ago

    Finally something good came out of FFX.

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    1 year, 3 months ago

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