Gearbox has Aliens: Colonial Marines campaign DLC, we got poet laureates.

ACM DLC OUT.

That is a terrifying threesome of three letter words.
A menage a trois de trois that is very far from sensuous. A triumvirate of triples that tears apart the psyche of the most hardened of men and feasts within their souls only to propagate in a manner most parasitic.

If I were playing this on a psTHREE then I'm certain that the summoning of some ancient evil by means of a blasphemous ritual would be in order.

I have the game for the XBOX 360.

Wait....
no...
NO!

The three in three sixty!

The three in three hundred and sixty!

My sanity flees. I can tell. Me realizing how little reason remains makes me wonder if I ever had some at all.
I am a whirlwind of emotions at the moment. The campaign DLC for Aliens: Colonial Marines is out and it supposedly wraps ups the story from the main story and what I'm guessing the people behind the game thought was a cliffhanger but it ended up being more of a "what the hell are we doing" I have no idea how much it costs because I bought it on impulse and at this point who cares at least I'm not one of those poor souls who bought the season pack in order to get a discount worth pennies on a couple of lame multiplayer additions to a lame multiplayer mode so that they can sit in front of their TV and stare at the 'Looking for players...' screen until enough neurons in their brain fry that they either convince themselves that they want to keep waiting for that one awesome match or run out into the street in a febrile frenzy to chase a car or cower at the sun which they no longer recognize and cry out to the heavens as they find their end beneath the wheels of a car too confused about the nerd scrambling out into the street aimlessly in tears that are tears but also blood.

Some of our beloved community members here at 4playernetwork.com submitted some poems a while back to win a copy of System Shock 2 (one of my favorite games). I asked those interested in participating to submit a short poem (around 6-10 lines) with the topic being Aliens: Colonial Marines. Now some of these poems were funny; plenty were seething with the anger and disappointment that all of us gamers and Aliens fans can relate to, but here's what they all had in common, they were all awesome and I had a great time reading through the submissions and it was hard to pick a winner.

I have made a selection of what I thought were the most amusing/best poems submitted and present them to you here, to give everyone a chance to enjoy the creativity of our community.

Even if your poem isn't here, know this: If Gearbox made a poem, any poem you made would be 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times better.

Shakespeare wrote plays, not poems, but they were in verse, so I feel this is appropiate.

The winner was:

Carlos is fat

He blames it on you

He plays all the garbage

till the tears turn him blue

He had hopes and dreams

turned out they were lies

there was A:CM

Pitchford's reason to die.

And now some more of my personal picks!

O! We should have seen, when Check Six showed their screens:

polygons all jutting through the walls

the textures tattered, fraying at the seams,

too many tired yards of brownish halls:

We should have known it then,Marines was doomed

Ridley Scott’s potental was belied

In hollow black chrome rooms, an evil loomed:

the benighted company that torched Duke’s ride

But still, our hope was ne’er to be concealed

our wallets wept with wafts of squandered gilt

at PAX, E3 and tradeshows far afield

we helped to feed the horror Gearbox built.

No trite survival horror tropes

could seem to win us over

When Pitchford took the helm,

Game over, man, Game over

Oh, man! OH, MY! SO GOOD! What's this? A Haiku?

I woke up today
Hoping for a better game
I went back to sleep.

Haiku? This is America! No, for real. This is so deep kaiju come out of it and rob me of my sleep. What's next?

Broken dreams,

An unfulfilled promise,

These are what's obnoxious,

about Aliens: Colonial Marines.

Encore! Encore!