N is for Ninja

If you haven’t picked up Mark of the Ninja yet, you should, particularly if you have a bloodlust for stealth gameplay and can’t wait for the upcoming Hitman: Absolution. Mark of the Ninja plays like a 2D version of the stealth sections from Batman: Arkham Asylum/City, and has you stalking through various dark environments, finding sneaky and creative ways to take out armed guards protecting some evil man in a suit.

The thing that impressed me about the game, apart from its terrific sound design and art style, was how it really gives you the feeling of being a Ninja. I would know, I am one (OK, I’m not, but I can always dream). As you creep through the shadows, ducking into hallways to evade alarm sensors, laying down traps and then swinging up to the rafters to watch tense security guards stumble into them, you get a great sense of being an agile, invisible presence. Like the best kind of farts, you’re silent but deadly.

Cast your minds a little further back into the year and you may remember Ninja Gaiden 3, another ninja-themed 2012 release. You may also wish you could forget it. Here’s what happens in Ninja Gaiden 3: you casually stroll up to a group of hired goons, hammer the X and Y buttons to make everybody die, occasionally pull a skyscraper-sized dragon out of your arse to make everybody die a bit faster, and then repeat this process until you can feel vital parts of your brain dissolving and leaking out of your nostrils.

Every now and then the game will offer up some of its badly written exposition, where it attempts to foist a sense of guilt onto lead ninja Ryu Hayabusa, and therefore the player, for his naughty murderous ways. There’s even one scene where a guard pleads for his life, saying, “I’ve got a family. I’m just trying to feed my kids!” like a straight-faced version of this scene from Austin Powers. Then it dumps another truckload of snivelling gimps your way and expects you to continue this flesh-slicing, dragon-parping farce until the game mercifully ends.

I’m not saying that every ninja game has to be a stealth game. I just thought that these two games, released within 6 months of each other, made a nice contrast. One game is a cerebral experience that makes you feel like a silent assassin, a wisp in the wind quietly menacing from the darkness. The other gives you nothing to do but carve up waves of whimpering ciphers in a brainless, shallow slaughter, then tries to make you feel bad about it. One of them is a game about a ninja, and the other is a game about a man who dresses like a ninja, but is about as covert and nuanced as an explosive diarrhoea attack in a church service.