So there little Timmy was, sitting on the couch, playing on the TV while I sat across the coffee table, trying to cross reference an article in The Economist with the latest NPD sales numbers on my laptop.

"Gee golly, Mr. Davis, I sure love my Playstation 3."

"Good for you, Timmy."

"It sure is nice and all but..."  He pauses.

"But what, Timmy?"

*sigh* "It just so big!  It takes up a lot of room in my entertainment center!  Where am I going to have room for my Wii U when it arrives in November?"

"But Timmy, you don't have to worry about that starting next week."

His eyes light up in excitement as he turns to me, setting down his controller and ignoring his game entirely.  "Really, Mr. Davis?!  What's going on?"

"Well, Timmy," I begin as I finish the article and turn to him, "the Tokyo Game Show is going on right now and Sony decided to announce a new redesign of the PS3."

"Wow!  What are they doing to it?!"

"Starting on September 25th Sony will be launching an even smaller PS3 model than the current PS3 Slim.  It's going to be 25% smaller than the current model and about half the size of the original one."

"Awesome!  What's it look like?"

I turn my laptop to face him, showing off the new system.

"Holy smokes-"

"Don't swear, Timmy.  You know I don't like it when you swear.  There's a reason why you don't have an Xbox Live account or a headset.  I don't want you to turn into one of those fiends on Call of Duty.  Or do you want to spend another day in the timeout box with Joseph?"

"No sir," he says quietly, his eyes averted from mine, no doubt recalling what happened last week.  He turns back to me a few moments later.  "But Mr. Davis, what's it going to cost?"

"Well, Timmy, I'm sorry to tell you this but there's really no change to the pricing structure at this point.  A 250gb model will launch on the 25th for $249, twenty bucks more if you purchase a bundle with the Game of the Year edition of Uncharted 3."

"Only 250 gigabytes?"

"Yes, that's true, but a 500gb model will launch on October 30th for $299.  There's also word of a Assassin's Creed III bundle in the works but nothing can be confirmed as of press time."

"That sure is exciting, Mr. Davis!"

"It sure is."

Timmy stares at the entertainment center for a moment before dipping his head and frowning, clearly downtrodden.

"What's wrong, Timmy?  Aren't you excited?"

"Well, I am, Mr. Davis, but my Xbox 360 and my Wii are white!  I don't want to mess with my color scheme!"

"You won't have to worry about that.  Sony will be launching a 'classic white' model in Japan on November 22nd and it may just come to the US."

His face lights up, even happier than before.  "Oh boy!  That sounds so wonderful!  I can't wait to pick up my new PS3 and then buy a Wii U a month and a half later!"

"I'm sure you will, Timmy.  Now put away you iPhone 5 and get back to your game.  You can update your friends later."

As he turns back to his online murderfest I stand up and walk toward the window, watching the rain as it continues to fall.  Without realizing it I open the door and step outside into the storm, the rain engulfing and soaking me to the bone in a matter of seconds.  I take my glasses off and stare at the sky, water rushing down face and not all of it from the rain.  A single thought tears at my soul, one I cannot escape.

When will this console generation end?

Comments

  • Avatar
    Skittles0520
    11 years, 6 months ago

    I've never owned a "slim" edition of any console before, and this one is 'eye appealing' to me. The price isn't that great to me, but my current PS3 is the 80gb.....soo.....maybe....resist...dangit.

    also, nobody puts Joseph in the timeout box >_<

  • Avatar
    dumon
    11 years, 6 months ago

    Oh sure, it's "newer," sleeker, and weighs less, but what are we really getting? It's obvious that this new model will probably cut production costs (and I'm ok with that), but other than the slightly bigger hdd what's the motivation to buy one? I'm with you; I feel no amount of excitement.

  • Avatar
    Trusis
    11 years, 6 months ago

    I don't mine Sony revamping things now and again, I really want to know if there's anything REALLY different about this Slimmer version. I might just be able to get my own PS3, since the one I play one is my brothers.

    side note LOL Joseph as a punishment. Genius.

  • Avatar
    Soha
    11 years, 6 months ago

    Hmm. Don't want to know what Joseph did...

  • Avatar
    KingCerberusReborn
    11 years, 6 months ago

    Umm yay?

  • Avatar
    lostking
    11 years, 6 months ago

    "still doesnt play PS2 games" then i still dont fucking want it

  • Avatar
    WingZero
    11 years, 6 months ago

    I would rather Sony take that cost difference in HDD sizes and give it back to the consumer.

    Yes, Sony didn't really impress with the new models.

  • Avatar
    Sickbrain
    11 years, 6 months ago

    Hah $250, really? Why the fuck would I want to spend $250 on an old-ass console when I could spend it on Wii-U and play Bayonetta? Perhaps Sony doesn't have plans to announce new system at the next E3.

  • Avatar
    SonicKitsune
    11 years, 6 months ago

    So I guess that makes the PS3 Fat, PS3 Chubby, and PS3 Slim.

  • Avatar
    gamerguy1224
    11 years, 6 months ago

    Nice article chris, I thought it was pretty funny. The redesign looks kind of nice, but im definitely not going to get one, since my PS3 fat still works fine.

  • Avatar
    TheOttomatic91
    11 years, 6 months ago

    At this point its kind of ridiculous to bring a redesign for the ps3 Sony should used the time and resources they spent for this thing to make the next gen console.

  • Avatar
    Vinzin
    11 years, 6 months ago

    I'm still stuck at PS3-phat, would this be considered the anorexic cousin/brother/relative?

  • Avatar
    Thunderwyvern
    11 years, 6 months ago

    Maybe it's just me, but this reminds me of Youtube. Always trying to change and perfect a concept that was fine just the way it was. Dunno, but that's just what I get outta it.